Jeff's Personal Blog

Whenever I go to the men's room at work and there is someone going into a stall or coming out, they seem to be obesely overweight. Do fat people poop a lot?

I took the clogged air cleaner filter out of the Olds and ran it through the dishwasher. After it dried it worked great.

I invented a new explative on the way to work: "Idiass!"

Two young guys were walking through the parking lot after work and one was "MFing" this and "MFing" that. I told him to watch his language and that it was offensive.

On the sitcom "Home Improvement" the son thinks he might have cancer. He asked his dad "Why do all the bad things happen to me?" Tim Allen says, "I have bad things happen to me all the time." His son says, Yeah, but that's because you cause them."

When I parked for work the other morning all the spots were full near my building so I had to park at the next building over. Walking over to my building I noticed some fresh deer poop on the sidewalk.

I bought gas last night. It was $1.64 a gallon on 8600 south and 1300 east.

A lady called up and asked, "How much is it to mail a package from someplace to somewhere."

They have removed the 55 mph signs on I-15 in Utah County that were between Lehi and Orem. Now I can hit 70 MPH all the way from Sandy until I get to Orem where drivers seem to get an attack of the stupids and start crashing almost every day. Something about Orem drivers and freeway driving.

Gas is now $1.67 a gallon at 90th and State in Sandy.

Regular unleaded $1.69 a gallon on 90th and State in Sandy.

This lady called me at work. She was complaining about the post office delivery policies and then said they were "a pain in the *ss." I was about to ask her where she wanted her mail delivered and got as far as the word "where" when she cut me off and said "right in the *ss!"

I laughed. I couldn't help it.

I left 1/2 hour early for work today and I was still 35 minutes late for work!

Two hours to drive to Orem is ridiculous.

I have decided that 1600 North in Orem between State and 800 East is the worst place in the state for people pulling in front of you from a side street with so little room that you have to break hard to keep from hitting them. Also people in huge pickup trucks will make a left hand turn right in front of you in extremely busy traffic.

People who live off of 1600 North in Orem should move to Eagle Mountain where they belong. Well, at least they don't flash their bright lights at you.

When I installed the headlights in my car I set them on the low side by accident. Therefore when my four-beam-high-beams are on they don't shine in the oncoming driver's eyes. Because the low beams don't throw enough light I have gotten in the habbit of driving in high-beam mode. When we went to Eagle mountain about 90% of the drivers flashed their high-beams at me and left them on to try and blind me as soon as they got close enough to see I had four headlights on. Obviously they weren't bright enough to bother them because they did not flash me earlier.

When I drive in the Orem area only about 5 percent of the drivers flash me.

This leads me to conclude that most of the people living in Eagle Mountain have psychological problems and are in need of therapy to help them overcome their anger and vindictiveness

People in Orem, on the other hand, must have absorbed religion from nearby BYU by osmosis and seem to be living their religion.

Now I always wear a pair of polarized sunglasses at night when I drive to Eagle Mountain. Maybe those Eagle Mountaineers should move to Hell, Michigan.